The Aggravation Complexity
by tonstar17
Summary: Leonard and Penny have a one to one on what's is bugging Penny. This is a two part story that tries to get to the bottom of why Penny seems so unhappy and lashes out the last 3 seasons. I do not own any of the Characters.
1. Chapter 1

She climbs the stairs slowly dragging her feet along and groaned. She wished the elevator was working. Damn you, Leonard. She cursed. It was his fault it was broken. All those years ago when the rocket fuel Leonard was testing became unstable, and Sheldon had to put it in the elevator which then consequently blew up leaving the apartment block without a working elevator. Penny's only wish was for a simpler life. Penny felt drained; it had been a stressful and long day at work. She wished she enjoyed what she does. Penny wasn't getting the mental satisfaction, the thrill of accomplishment she had hoped for or the feeling of self-contentment as a Pharmaceutical Salesperson, she wondered how long she could keep this up. Penny hated her job, the money was good, and the other reps were friendly enough, but she wanted more than just using her looks to sell her products and flirting with doctors. Giving the impression she was interested in them was what she hated the most. She wanted personal growth, development, and opportunities to grow as a person, not someone who uses her body to make sales. Penny reached the 4th floor and stared at the door to 4A. She reached for her keys in her bag. Penny wondered if Leonard was home. She let herself in and there he was on the sofa reading one of his scientific magazines. He looks up at her and smiled; she gave him a false smile back.

"Hey, you." he greeted.

"Hello," she answered in a soft tone voice as she lowered herself with a little difficulty and slumped onto the sofa next to him exhausted.

Leonard put the magazine down that he was reading. He could tell she was tense and troubled. He turned towards her and rubbed her shoulder. He knew this always soothes her.

"How was work?" He asked.

"Well apart from getting hit on by creepy doctors." the thought kept intruding into her mind, filling her with dread. "And making a couple of sales. Yeah, great day." She replied in a deadpan delivery.

The flirting was one thing Leonard hated about Penny's job, but he trusted her and understood it was part of her job and wanted the best for her. "Are you okay, would you like me to run you a hot bath?" he asked with a frown that expressed great concern?

"I'm fine, just tired that's all. Maybe later." She answered looking away to avert his gaze.

"I made your favorite dinner." he said in a pleasant, soft, sympathetic, warm tone.

"I'm not really that hungry. I had a late lunch." Penny wished Leonard would stop talking and asking how she was. She wasn't in the mood and just wanted to relax and be left alone.

Leonard could tell something was bugging her; Penny was good at hiding her true self away; he didn't want to push her. He knew when she is ready; she will open up.

"So do you want to do something later, maybe go to the cinema or something?" Leonard tried to lighten the mood.

I'm exhausted Leonard," the scenario of a bleak future running through her mind. "I just want to relax and probably have an early night." hoping to avoid talking about her feelings.

" We could go bug the weird neighbors." Leonard chuckled.

Penny glared at him showing a strong annoyance at his pathetic attempt to raise her spirit with humor. Penny had enough and angrily lashed out without thinking. "You call that doing something. My life is falling apart, and I don't know what to do, and all you can think of is hanging out with the two most obnoxious people we know. Are you kidding me?" She saw the frowned expression on his face; she knew he had a very low tolerance for conflict. Penny could tell he was only trying to help, but she wasn't in the mood for his silly jokes. It wasn't his fault, and she felt sorry for snapping at him but couldn't help herself. This was what Penny did now, taking her frustration out on Leonard.

Leonard was confused, surprised, and a little upset at her outburst and could not think of what to say. Penny saw the astonishment on his face. She quickly stood up and composed herself, pacing around the living room.

"Sorry I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm just feeling frustrated" Penny said sincerely.

"Penny. What going on?" He finally manages to get out." expressing great concern for her.

"Nothing." she lied but failing to convey her emotions effectively.

He knew she was lying; her lashing out was probably a cry for help. Leonard had worried about her state of mind for a while; Her negative emotional reaction was just an act of cold denial. He could see right through her. "You've have been acting strange lately, and what do you mean your life is falling apart? I thought we were happy."

Penny felt sorry for taking her stress out on him. It was wrong and not cool. She wanted to feel better about herself, but right now it was just too painful to talk about how she was feeling to Leonard. "I am, I mean we are. I've been dealing with lots of stress at work lately and stuff. I don't want to talk about it right now. Can we talk about something else?" she pleaded.

He knew her too well, she was stubborn, and if he pushed her, she will only get angrier at him and run away to avoid opening up. He decided to leave it for now. "Okay," he quietly said and went back to reading his magazine.

"Thank you," She sat back down next to him on the sofa and began flicking through the tv channels with the sound on mute. The silence was an attempt to act as if nothing was wrong. "Leonard, what are you reading?" Penny enquired.

"Oh, just an articles on facts about men and women. Do you know how many words women use a day?"

"I don't know," Penny answered.

"30,000 to a man's 15,000." Leonard giggled.

"Really. That's an interesting fact," the topic holding Penny's curiosity. "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men." She replied as she rolled her eyes and made a face at Leonard.,

"What. Are you saying men are dumb and do not listen?" he asked

"Yes and idiots." She said firmly."

Leonard was taken aback by her thoughts on the subject and interjected. "You do realize that men resist sometimes talking to their partners unless a constructive outcome is likely and are not as dumb as some women proclaim, nor is using sex to manipulate a man. Although, it couldn't hurt." He grinned.

Penny was not amused. "So understandably men want to avoid conversations,

"Sometimes," he replied.

"I see, so you are saying women might incorrectly think that men cannot communicate and all men want is sex."

"No, I'm not saying that." He protested.

"Okay so when I want you to listen, vent or share my feelings, you do the classic move of giving the occasional non-committal nod in the hope that eventually I will give up."

"No Penny, it's not like that. I'm an excellent listener and can concentrate for ages while being addressed on a broad range of topics." Leonard proudly said.

"Like what?" She frowned.

"You know sports, shopping, celebrity world, stuff like that," he said nervously.

"You don't like any of those things, and you always make excuses not to participate in them." She glared at him.

"Yes I do, I like sports, but after a while, my mind breaks free and drifts away. Leonard admitted.

"Oh really, or is it the fact that you find sports boring. It's a known fact that the average man can only manage six minutes concentration before his attention is diverted to something else.."

"That's not true, it's hard work for us men. Many women demand being listened to and the man not dare offer a solution or all hell will break loose. Anyway, six minutes seems like a long time."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Penny demanded. "I'm not like that." she raised her voice slightly." When I'm ready to solve my problems, I don't need you to listen."

"Penny I wasn't referring to you. Please don't take this the wrong way but I have all this knowledge built up from helping you through your bold of depressions and several stressful situations in the years I have known you." He remained her. "I think you are showing symptoms of anxiety which may be caused by stress from past memories and experiences. It is best not to dwell on the past or future problems, just the present ones which are."

"What…" Penny interrupted him. " I'm sorry to be a burden on you. I guess I am flawed and therefore a bad person," she exclaimed sarcastically. "I must change or fix myself in order to be acceptable to you?" Penny began to ramble on about how unsupportive he can be and taking her for granted, not making an effort anymore and how she feels neglected, ignored and not appreciated. Making her feel unloved and caring more about playing his stupid video games than her. Penny knew it was wrong, but she felt some satisfaction out of screaming at him.

Leonard couldn't believe what he was hearing. He counterattacked with the little things he does for her, like cooking her food when she's too tired, getting her things when she doesn't want to get up and so on. Leonard knew this discussion was leading to an argument and neither of them was willing to concede their position. He could see she was overly stressed and her train of thought was bouncing from subject to subject; he didn't want to make things worse. Leonard wondered what was bugging her, she had been feeling reckless the last couple of weeks, and whenever he asked if she was okay, she just shrugged her shoulder and said she was fine and changed the subject. He could now see she wasn't. Leonard sat there trying to grasp some connection with her, but he just couldn't find it, he became lost in the rambling of her ranting. It was time to end this. "Penny I'm sorry if I upset you." He glanced at her and immediately looked away again. "I don't like it when we fight." Penny saw the pain in his eyes. But she was at the end of her tether.

"Yeah well stop taking me for granted," she said in a hard, aggressive voice. She stood up and stormed off towards the bedroom, leaving Leonard stunned and lost for words.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

* * *

Leonard was lying on the couch trying to think of all the possible scenarios as to what the hell just happened?" Leonard didn't think making an offhand remark would upset her that much, there must be more to it. He couldn't understand what he had done wrong and why she was yelling at him. One minute they were talking, the next she's angry at him and saying those hurtful things. He still couldn't understand where she got the idea he was taking her for granted came from? Maybe he did a little, but the fact remains that she is the one that most often takes him for granted. There had been a few occasions when she had shown total disregard for him, and it seemed everything that is wrong in her life was now his fault. She had become moody and short tempered with him and sometimes in front of their friends. Leonard also notices that Penny had not been her usual self for a while now. It was supposed to be the best time of their lives, having been married for over a year. Where did it all go wrong? He wondered.

How could he make it up to her and maybe determine the real cause of her anger and not to further escalating the situation? Was she having some sort of guilt or regret about something which is making her angry or is just aim towards him? Have the sparks fizzled out and her passion gone? He wondered.

Leonard began to overthink things. Could Penny have fallen out of love with him? Is that the reason why she gets angry at him? He tried not to think about the fact that his marriage might be over. Leonard had many questions to ask, but most importantly he wanted answers. He played with the idea of going after her but knew when she was in this state; it is better to leave her be. He hated seeing Penny upset and had always had the urge to make things right. Leonard felt useless as he didn't know what to do or how to help penny in her time of need.

* * *

Leonard woke up yawning to find Penny standing in front of him, arms crossed and frowned. She was staring down at him. He took off his glasses to rub his eyes.

"You coming to bed." She asked in a now calm manner. She put her hand out to take his. Leonard gladly accepted as she pulled him towards the bedroom leading the way. They arrived at the bedroom door. Leonard didn't want to upset her any more than she was, so the first thing he blurted out was, "I should just sleep on the sofa tonight..." Her kiss told him he was wrong. He should have gone to her hours ago.

"I'm sorry for screaming at you," Penny said as Leonard spooned her in their dim lit bedroom.

"I'm sorry too." He muttered.

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." Penny sighed

Leonard was confused but spoke in a very calm and dejected manner. "Then why were you so angry with me?"

Penny felt bad for the pain she was causing him; she didn't mean to be mad at him, he deserved better. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings; I'm angry at myself for loving you Leonard and putting up with me. I had dreams. My life was all planned out, but I did not plan for this. I did not plan for you. I've abandoned my dreams, but your love has taught me I wasn't dreaming big enough. You were right about not dwelling on the past and just deal with what is happening now." She said with a sigh.

There was a quiet moment for Leonard to take in what Penny just said. When Leonard finally spoke, all that came out was. "I don't understand how you can be so angry and so beautiful all at the same time."

His words made her glow. Penny sometimes questioned her ability to be in a relationship with Leonard because she felt unable to give him the kind of love he deserved. But underneath the layer of doubts and distance she put up, deep down she knew her heart was molded for Leonard. " You are a good man Leonard, brilliant, well-educated and a good husband. You've always had my best interest at heart, and I love you for that. But I feel angry and guilty for miss using our friendship and sometimes not treating you right. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I should be treating you better." her blond locks covering her distressed face.

"I love you too Penny but what's going on?" There was panic in his voice. "Penny look at me." He could hear her softly crying.

"No." She said between tears.

"Please, Penny look at me. I don't like seeing you like this." Leonard could see she was troubled.

Penny rolled over and wiped the tears from her cheeks, slowly turning to face him, resting her head on his chest. He could now see she was crying.

"Penny what can I do to make things right?" He asked.

"Just hold me," she said as the tears stung her eyes.

Leonard did as asked, and at that moment Penny's emotional wall came crashing down. "It's not you; it's me Leonard. I hate my job; I never thought my whole life would be centered around this job, it's making me miserable outside of work. I thought it would be fun becoming a Pharmaceutical Sales Rep; I took a job with no experience, after waking up to the fact that my dream job was just that. A dream. She buried her head deeper into his chest. She expected him to be mad at her, but in true Leonard's style, he just held her tight. Leonard was proud of Penny for not been scared to make the jump into unknown territories.

"You, you hate your job. I had no idea It was making you miserable and causing you anger and anxiety." He tried to gain an honest perspective of the situation. " Your dream job was to become an actress, do you want to go back to acting?"

"I thought about it, but you remember the pain it caused me the last time. I don't think I can take the disappointments anymore." She exclaimed.

Leonard continued to ask questions about her job but was very careful not to say the wrong things. "If you are unhappy, bored and you feel that your job is causing you so much stress, you probably need to consider doing something else. Is there another position within the company that would be more challenging for you." Leonard asked.

"I don't think so. I have been racking my brains thinking of what I could do. My whole life was going to be centered around acting, a career that I was passionate about, but we all know how that worked out.

"So how long have you hated your job?" Leonard asked.

"I've hated it for a while, physically and mentally. I know I'm one of the top salesperson but what I thought would make me happy, meeting new people is in fact partly what is making me miserable..' She paused. "I hate the fact that I have to flirt and wear revealing clothes to makes sales. I would have quit, If not for my credit cards balances and I don't want to let you down, or you think I am weak." She sobbed. "I'm sorry Leonard. I'm such a wreck."

"You are not weak or a wreck. You are maybe burnt out from all the stress and just carry on as normal trying to battle on." He tried to comfort her. "It's okay to cry, let it all out, and I think you are beautiful when you cry." he pulled her even closer.

"Leonard I know you are trying to make me feel better, and I love you for it, but I'm a married woman now, you should be the only man I should be doing those things for."

Leonard felt his heart warm and was happy he wasn't the primary cause of Penny's pain. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but I want you to know I'm here for you and will support you in any action you decide to take. You will not go through this alone. I'm here for you, and you are not letting me down if you choose to quit or make any big decisions, I will support you in any way I can.

"You will do that for me," Penny asked in a soft, sincere voice.

"Yes I want you to be happy penny, I can also help you update your resume, and we can browse the internet job sections. Maybe we can find something you like."

She kissed him; his lip was tender as she pressed herself into the hardness of his body."I am sorry for being a jerk and feeling awkward around you. I know it's stupid right?" Penny said.

"Nothing is stupid when it comes to you, Penny. I'm so glad you opened up to me, and we had this talk. I will be right by your side if you need me. In the long run, it will make us stronger because you can't, and I will not let you go through this alone. Self-punishment is not the way forward. It's just an all-purpose defense against the pain of life."

She was moved by his obvious concern and felt comfortable enough to be so vulnerable and show her genuine emotions around him. "And life is full of pains and dreams do not always come true," Penny said sadly

"Life is not always going to be plain sailing." He added.

Penny curled up behind Leonard with her arms around him, both lying on their sides. "Do you think it's a good idea to seek professional help?" Penny asked.

"It might do. You could go and see Dr. Gallo again. You did say her sessions helped the last time."

"Yeah she was great I found talking to a counselor about things that are troubling me very helpful in the past. I'll book an appointment for next week." Penny affirmed her commitment by grabbing her phone from the bedside desk and setting a reminder.

I'll come with you if you want me to." Leonard hoped Penny would agree to accompany her.

"I'd like that. You, been there is all the support I need." Penny gave him a knowing smile.

Leonard knew Penny hated asking for help, she saw it as a sign of weakness, but this was a step in the right direction, and he was willing to be patient and supportive all the way through. "Asking for help is an excellent way of moving on." He assured her. "Now maybe we can sit down and work out where we go from here. You are good at a lot of things, let's find you something fulfilling, and you enjoy."

"I could start my own fashion business or enroll for a fashion degree course; I do love shoes and clothes." Penny giggled, now feeling a lot better.

"That's an excellent idea. I could help with the accounts and model your new Lingerie selections" Leonard laughed nervously,

"Leonard… You're a pervert." She said with strong conviction.

Leonard panicked. "Sorry Penny, do not be mad at me." He didn't want to upset her again.

"Leonard I'm not mad at you," Penny said with a straight face. "I'm disappointed." She grinned.

Leonard went to fetch Penny's laptop, they both sat up in bed as the browsed the job sections and college courses. Laughing and joking, enjoying each other's company. Penny was able to release some of the tension within her and strengthen their bond.

* * *

A few hours later, Leonard and Penny laid side by side both in deep thoughts. Leonard always knew that Penny liked to keep things hidden like her insecurities, he also knew from his upbringing that loving someone with walls is never easy. But with Penny, the fight is more than worth it.

His support was a relieve to her. Penny wondered why she hadn't told him or shared her anxiety and stress with him sooner, and doubted his support. He would always make Penny coffee in the morning. He brought her tissues when she had a cold. He bought her flowers when she was dejected. He made her favorite dinner every Thursday and tucked her in when she fell asleep reading on her Ipad. She never understood why she thought he took her for granted. Maybe it was her insecurity of losing him. Now it's in the open she can move on, and they can both figure out together what she wants to do, concerning her career. Simply discussing her feelings with Leonard was a huge relief. She was so lucky to have a man whose unconditional love for her was unquestionable. She needs to learn how to control herself and saying the wrong things to the person she loved the most with all her heart when angry. She could see how upsetting it was for Leonard as all he ever wanted for her was to be happy. She knew she needed to get help, and Leonard was right she can't do it alone. With his help it can go away, they were a team. She held onto him tightly, never wanting to let him go.

Leonard never thought Penny was the love he craved. He thought she was smart. He thought she was funny. He thought she was way more than he deserved, but he never thought she was beautiful. He knew she was beautiful inside as well as the outside. He opened his eyes and snuggled closer to her naked body. Leonard knew this wasn't a dream; this was true love.

Penny always dreamed of a love so great it surrounded her with constant warmth and transformed her into a stronger and more beautiful woman than she was without it. She felt her husband's body snuggled up so close to her. She knew it wasn't a dream but real love.

 **The End**


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